Seasons and episodes
1Season 1 Sep. 21, 2003
- S1E1PilotSep. 21, 2003
- S1E2Big Flappy BastardsSep. 28, 2003
- S1E3Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of HellOct. 05, 2003
- S1E4
- S1E5The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a HumpOct. 19, 2003
- S1E6
- S1E7If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually FakeNov. 03, 2003
- S1E8Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-fulNov. 10, 2003
- S1E9Phase One, CompleteNov. 17, 2003
- S1E10Merry ThanksgivingNov. 24, 2003
- S1E11Alan Harper, Frontier ChiropractorDec. 15, 2003
- S1E12Camel Filters + PheromonesJan. 05, 2004
- S1E13Sara Like Puny AlanJan. 12, 2004
- S1E14I Can't Afford HyenasFeb. 02, 2004
- S1E15Round One to the Hot Crazy ChickFeb. 09, 2004
- S1E16That Was Saliva, AlanFeb. 16, 2004
- S1E17Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The HatsFeb. 23, 2004
- S1E18An Old Flame With a New WickMar. 01, 2004
- S1E19I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember YouMar. 22, 2004
- S1E20Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the DarkApr. 19, 2004
- S1E21No Sniffing, No WowingMay. 03, 2004
- S1E22My Doctor has a Cow PuppetMay. 10, 2004
- S1E23Just Like BuffaloMay. 17, 2004
- S1E24Can You Feel My Finger?May. 24, 2004
2Season 2 Sep. 20, 2004
- S2E1Back Off Mary PoppinsSep. 20, 2004
- S2E2Enjoy Those Garlic BallsSep. 27, 2004
- S2E3A Bag Full of JaweaOct. 04, 2004
- S2E4Go Get Mommy's BraOct. 11, 2004
- S2E5Bad News from the ClinicOct. 18, 2004
- S2E6The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal VigilanceOct. 25, 2004
- S2E7A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in FontanaNov. 08, 2004
- S2E8Frankenstein and the Horny VillagersNov. 15, 2004
- S2E9Yes, MonsignorNov. 22, 2004
- S2E10The Salmon Under My SweaterNov. 29, 2004
- S2E11Last Chance to See Those TattoosDec. 13, 2004
- S2E12A Lungful of AlanJan. 03, 2005
- S2E13Get Off My HairJan. 17, 2005
- S2E14Those Big Pink Things with CoconutJan. 31, 2005
- S2E15Smell the Umbrella StandFeb. 07, 2005
- S2E16Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?Feb. 14, 2005
- S2E17Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!Feb. 21, 2005
- S2E18It Was Mame, MomMar. 07, 2005
- S2E19A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping NoiseMar. 21, 2005
- S2E20I Always Wanted a Shaved MonkeyApr. 18, 2005
- S2E21A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry OnMay. 02, 2005
- S2E22That Old Hose Bag Is My MotherMay. 09, 2005
- S2E23Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, SquabMay. 16, 2005
- S2E24Does This Smell Funny to You?May. 23, 2005
3Season 3 Sep. 19, 2005
- S3E1Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic GymnastsSep. 19, 2005
- S3E2Principal Gallagher's Lesbian LoverSep. 26, 2005
- S3E3Carpet Burns and a Bite MarkOct. 03, 2005
- S3E4Your Dismissive Attidude Towards BoobsOct. 10, 2005
- S3E5We Called It Mr. PinkyOct. 17, 2005
- S3E6Hi, Mr. Horned OneOct. 24, 2005
- S3E7Sleep Tight, Puddin' PopNov. 07, 2005
- S3E8That Voodoo That I Do DoNov. 14, 2005
- S3E9Madame and Her Special friendNov. 21, 2005
- S3E10Something Salted and TwistedNov. 28, 2005
- S3E11Santa's Village of the DamnedDec. 19, 2005
- S3E12That Special TugJan. 09, 2006
- S3E13Humiliation is a Visual MediumJan. 23, 2006
- S3E14Love Isn't Blind, It's RetardedFeb. 06, 2006
- S3E15My Tongue is MeatFeb. 27, 2006
- S3E16Ergo, The Booty CallMar. 06, 2006
- S3E17The Unfortunate Little SchnauserMar. 13, 2006
- S3E18The Spit-Covered CobblerMar. 20, 2006
- S3E19Golly Moses, She's A MuffinApr. 10, 2006
- S3E20Always a Bridesmaid, Never a BurroApr. 24, 2006
- S3E21And the Plot MoistensMay. 01, 2006
- S3E22Just Once With Aunt SophieMay. 09, 2006
- S3E23Arguments for the QuickieMay. 15, 2006
- S3E24That Pistol-Packin' HermaphroditeMay. 22, 2006
4Season 4 Sep. 18, 2006
- S4E1Working for CaligulaSep. 18, 2006
- S4E2Who's Vod Kanockers?Sep. 25, 2006
- S4E3The Sea is a Harsh MistressOct. 02, 2006
- S4E4A Pot Smoking MonkeyOct. 09, 2006
- S4E5A Live Woman of Proven FertilityOct. 16, 2006
- S4E6Apologies for the FrivolityOct. 23, 2006
- S4E7Repeated Blows to His Unformed HeadNov. 06, 2006
- S4E8Release the DogsNov. 13, 2006
- S4E9Corey's Been Dead For an HourNov. 20, 2006
- S4E10Kissing Abraham LincolnNov. 27, 2006
- S4E11Walnuts and DemerolDec. 11, 2006
- S4E12Castrating Sheep in MontanaJan. 08, 2007
- S4E13Don't Worry, Speed RacerJan. 22, 2007
- S4E14That's Summer Sausage, Not SalamiFeb. 05, 2007
- S4E15My Damn StalkerFeb. 12, 2007
- S4E16Young People Have Phlegm TooFeb. 18, 2007
- S4E17I Merely Slept With a CommieFeb. 26, 2007
- S4E18It Never Rains in HootervilleMar. 19, 2007
- S4E19Smooth as a Ken DollApr. 09, 2007
- S4E20Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a LotApr. 16, 2007
- S4E21Tucked, Taped and GorgeousApr. 23, 2007
- S4E22Mr. McGlue's FeedbagApr. 30, 2007
- S4E23Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookinMay. 07, 2007
- S4E24Prostitutes and GelatoMay. 14, 2007
5Season 5 Sep. 24, 2007
- S5E1Large Birds, Spiders and MomSep. 24, 2007
- S5E2Media Room Slash DungeonOct. 01, 2007
- S5E3Dum Diddy Dum Diddy DooOct. 08, 2007
- S5E4City of Great RacksOct. 14, 2007
- S5E5Putting Swim Fins on a CatOct. 23, 2007
- S5E6Help Daddy Find His ToenailOct. 30, 2007
- S5E7The Leather Gear is in the Guest RoomNov. 05, 2007
- S5E8Is There a Mrs. Waffles?Nov. 12, 2007
- S5E9Shoes, Hats, Pickle, Jar Lids.Nov. 19, 2007
- S5E10Kinda Like NecrophiliaNov. 26, 2007
- S5E11Meander to Your DanderMar. 17, 2008
- S5E12A Little Clammy and None Too FreshMar. 24, 2008
- S5E13The Soil is MoistMar. 31, 2008
- S5E14Winky-Dink TimeApr. 14, 2008
- S5E15Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle)Apr. 21, 2008
- S5E16Look At Me, Mommy, I'm PrettyApr. 28, 2008
- S5E17Fish in a DrawerMay. 05, 2008
- S5E18If My Hole Could TalkMay. 12, 2008
- S5E19Waiting for the Right SnapperMay. 19, 2008
6Season 6 Sep. 22, 2008
- S6E1Taterhead is Our Love ChildSep. 22, 2008
- S6E2Pie Hole, HerbSep. 29, 2008
- S6E3Damn You, Eggs BenedictOct. 06, 2008
- S6E4The Flavin' and the Mavin'Oct. 13, 2008
- S6E5A Jock Strap in HellOct. 20, 2008
- S6E6It's Always Nazi Week (1)Nov. 03, 2008
- S6E7Best H.O. Money Can BuyNov. 10, 2008
- S6E8Pinocchio's MouthNov. 17, 2008
- S6E9The Mooch At The BooNov. 24, 2008
- S6E10He Smelled the Ham, He Got ExcitedDec. 08, 2008
- S6E11The Devil's LubeDec. 15, 2008
- S6E12Thank God for ScoliosisJan. 12, 2009
- S6E13I Think You Offended DonJan. 19, 2009
- S6E14David Copperfield Slipped Me a RoofieFeb. 02, 2009
- S6E15I'd Like to Start With the CatFeb. 09, 2009
- S6E16She'll Still Be Dead At HalftimeMar. 02, 2009
- S6E17The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'?Mar. 09, 2009
- S6E18My Son's Enormous HeadMar. 16, 2009
- S6E19The Two Finger RuleMar. 30, 2009
- S6E20Hello, I Am Alan CousteauApr. 13, 2009
- S6E21Above Exalted CyclopsApr. 27, 2009
- S6E22Sir Lancelot's Litter BoxMay. 04, 2009
- S6E23Good Morning, Mrs. ButterworthMay. 11, 2009
- S6E24Baseball with Better SteroidsMay. 18, 2009
7Season 7 Sep. 21, 2009
- S7E1818-jklpuzoSep. 21, 2009
- S7E2Whipped Unto the Third GenerationSep. 28, 2009
- S7E3Mmm, Fish. Yum.Oct. 05, 2009
- S7E4Laxative Tester, Horse InseminatorOct. 12, 2009
- S7E5For the Sake of the ChildOct. 19, 2009
- S7E6Give Me Your ThumbNov. 02, 2009
- S7E7Untainted by FilthNov. 09, 2009
- S7E8Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.Nov. 16, 2009
- S7E9Captain Terry's Spray-On HairNov. 23, 2009
- S7E10That's Why They Call It Ball RoomDec. 07, 2009
- S7E11Warning, It's DirtyDec. 15, 2009
- S7E12Fart Jokes, Pie and CelesteJan. 11, 2010
- S7E13Yay, No Polyps!Jan. 18, 2010
- S7E14Crude and Uncalled For (1)Feb. 01, 2010
- S7E15Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)Feb. 08, 2010
- S7E16Tinkle Like a PrincessMar. 01, 2010
- S7E17I Found Your MoustacheMar. 08, 2010
- S7E18Ixnay on the Oggie DayMar. 22, 2010
- S7E19Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His GraveApr. 12, 2010
- S7E20I Called Him MagooMay. 10, 2010
- S7E21Gumby with a PokeyMay. 17, 2010
- S7E22This is Not Gonna End WellMay. 24, 2010
8Season 8 Sep. 20, 2010
- S8E1Three Girls and a Guy Named BudSep. 20, 2010
- S8E2A Bottle of Wine and a JackhammerSep. 27, 2010
- S8E3A Pudding-Filled CactusOct. 04, 2010
- S8E4Hookers, Hookers, HookersOct. 11, 2010
- S8E5The Immortal Mr. Billy JoelOct. 18, 2010
- S8E6Twanging Your Magic ClangerOct. 25, 2010
- S8E7The Crazy Bitch GazetteNov. 01, 2010
- S8E8Springtime on a StickNov. 08, 2010
- S8E9A Good Time In Central AfricaNov. 15, 2010
- S8E10Ow, Ow, Don't StopNov. 22, 2010
- S8E11Dead From the Waist DownDec. 06, 2010
- S8E12Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's DeadDec. 13, 2010
- S8E13Skunk, Dog Crap and KetchupJan. 03, 2011
- S8E14Lookin' for Japanese SubsJan. 17, 2011
- S8E15Three Hookers and a Philly CheesesteakFeb. 07, 2011
- S8E16That Darn PriestFeb. 14, 2011
9Season 9 Sep. 19, 2011
- S9E1Nice to Meet You, Walden SchmidtSep. 19, 2011
- S9E2People Who Love PeepholesSep. 26, 2011
- S9E3Big Girls Don't Throw FoodOct. 03, 2011
- S9E4Nine Magic FingersOct. 10, 2011
- S9E5A Giant Cat Holding ChurroOct. 17, 2011
- S9E6The Squat and The HoverOct. 24, 2011
- S9E7Those Fancy Japanese ToiletsOct. 31, 2011
- S9E8Thank You For The IntercourseNov. 07, 2011
- S9E9Frodo's HeadshotsNov. 14, 2011
- S9E10Fishbowl Full of Glass EyesNov. 21, 2011
- S9E11A Lovely Landing StripDec. 05, 2011
- S9E12One False Move, Zimbabwe!Dec. 12, 2011
- S9E13Slowly and in a Circular FashionJan. 02, 2012
- S9E14A Possum on ChemoJan. 16, 2012
- S9E15The Duchess of Dull-in-SackFeb. 06, 2012
- S9E16Sips, Sonnets and SodomyFeb. 13, 2012
- S9E17Not In My MouthFeb. 20, 2012
- S9E18The War Against GingivitisFeb. 27, 2012
- S9E19Palmdale, EchMar. 19, 2012
- S9E20Grandma's PieApr. 09, 2012
- S9E21Mr. Hose Says YesApr. 16, 2012
- S9E22Why We Gave Up WomenApr. 30, 2012
- S9E23The Straw In My Donut HoleMay. 07, 2012
- S9E24Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!May. 14, 2012
10Season 10 Sep. 27, 2012
- S10E1I Changed My Mind About the MilkSep. 27, 2012
- S10E2A Big Bag of DogOct. 04, 2012
- S10E3Four Balls, Two Bats and One MittOct. 11, 2012
- S10E4You Do Know What The Lollipop Is ForOct. 18, 2012
- S10E5That's Not What They Call It In AmsterdamOct. 25, 2012
- S10E6Ferrets, Attack!Nov. 01, 2012
- S10E7Avoid the Chinese MustardNov. 08, 2012
- S10E8Something My Gynecologist SaidNov. 15, 2012
- S10E9I Scream When I PeeNov. 29, 2012
- S10E10One Nut JohnsonDec. 06, 2012
- S10E11Give Santa a Tail-HoleDec. 13, 2012
- S10E12Welcome to AlancrestJan. 03, 2013
- S10E13Grab A Feather And Get In LineJan. 10, 2013
- S10E14Run Steven Staven! Run!Jan. 31, 2013
- S10E15Paint It, Pierce It or Plug ItFeb. 07, 2013
- S10E16Advantage: Fat, Flying BabyFeb. 14, 2013
- S10E17Throgwarten Middle School MysteriesFeb. 21, 2013
- S10E18The 9:04 From PembertonMar. 07, 2013
- S10E19Big Episode: Someone Stole a SpoonMar. 14, 2013
- S10E20Bazinga! That's From a TV ShowApr. 04, 2013
- S10E21Another Night With Neil DiamondApr. 25, 2013
- S10E22My Bodacious VidaliaMay. 02, 2013
- S10E23Cows, Prepare to Be TippedMay. 09, 2013
11Season 11 Sep. 26, 2013
- S11E1NangnangnangnangSep. 26, 2013
- S11E2I Think I Banged Lucille BallOct. 03, 2013
- S11E3This Unblessed BiscuitOct. 10, 2013
- S11E4Clank, Clank, Drunken SkankOct. 17, 2013
- S11E5Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003Oct. 24, 2013
- S11E6Justice in Star-Spangled Hot PantsNov. 07, 2013
- S11E7Some Kind of Lesbian ZombieNov. 14, 2013
- S11E8Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.Nov. 21, 2013
- S11E9Numero Uno Accidente LawyerDec. 05, 2013
- S11E10On vodka, on soda, on blender, on Mixer!Dec. 12, 2013
- S11E11Tazed In The Lady NutsJan. 02, 2014
- S11E12Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.Jan. 09, 2014
- S11E13Bite Me, Supreme CourtJan. 30, 2014
- S11E14Three Fingers of Creme de MentheFeb. 06, 2014
- S11E15Cab Fare and a Bottle of PenicillinFeb. 27, 2014
- S11E16How to Get Rid of Alan HarperMar. 06, 2014
- S11E17Welcome Home, JakeMar. 13, 2014
- S11E18West Side StoryApr. 03, 2014
- S11E19Daddy's Got a Healthy Flavor StickApr. 10, 2014
- S11E20Lotta Delis in Little ArmeniaApr. 24, 2014
- S11E21Dial 1-900-Mix-A-LotMay. 01, 2014
- S11E22Oh, WALD-E, Good Times AheadMay. 08, 2014
12Season 12 Oct. 30, 2014
- S12E1The Ol' Mexican SpinachOct. 30, 2014
- S12E2A Chic Bar in IbizaNov. 06, 2014
- S12E3Glamping in a YurtNov. 13, 2014
- S12E4Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-EightNov. 20, 2014
- S12E5Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.Nov. 27, 2014
- S12E6Alan Shot a Little GirlDec. 04, 2014
- S12E7Sex with an Animated Ed AsnerDec. 11, 2014
- S12E8Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried TurkeyDec. 18, 2014
- S12E9Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, LyndseyJan. 08, 2015
- S12E10Here I Come, Pants!Jan. 15, 2015
- S12E11For Whom the Booty CallsJan. 22, 2015
- S12E12A Beer Battered Rip-OffJan. 29, 2015
- S12E13Boompa Loved His HookersFeb. 05, 2015
- S12E14Don't Give a Monkey a GunFeb. 12, 2015
- S12E15Of Course He's Dead (1)Feb. 19, 2015
Creator
Creator
Cast
Synopsis
A hedonistic jingle writer’s free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Original title Two and a Half Men
First air date Sep. 21, 2003
Last air date Feb. 19, 2015
Seasons 12
Episodes 262
Duration 30m
Similar titles
